Friendship is a pre-requisite to a Christian, it is like the oil that ran down the beards of Aaron.
Imagine a world without friendship. Imagine that every relationship you had consisted of either family, or just neighbors but no friends.
And just picture the friendship element vanishing from each of these interactions.
Friendships differ from person to person because they are vital
But there is a way God intends Christian friendship to be as you can’t run with the world standard.
Christian Friendship Explored
Although there are many books and sayings about friendship,
The Bible also discusses friendships and offers guidance that we should implement in our relationships.
Furthermore, the Bible provides instances of meaningful friendships.
The ties between David and Jonathan demonstrate this (1 Samuel 20:42).
So, What Does A True Christian Friendship Look Like?
As a Christian, there is a way God intends for you to handle the matter of friendship.
Infact, no man is an isolation even in the Body of Christ, that’s why God had made available in His Body the vehicle of friendship.
So, it is important that you as a believer understand what true friendship looks like:
1. True Christian friendship is loving and sacrificial, even in difficult times
Prov. 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity”
Consequently, friendship brings you to the point where you become more loving and sacrificial.
It is not something you feign or do in order to satisfy the curiosity of another person.
In fact, it is sheer foolishness to expect the dividends of friendship when you are not even a friend.
That’s why being a true friend and a believer is established on your knowledge of Christ, the better you know Him, the better you know what friendship is.
I have one friend in particular who’s been my most trusted friend for some years now.
She’s the one who sacrifices what little time she has and gives generously of her resources without asking for recognition for it.
She’s helped me on numerous occasions when I was under pressure or had a lot on my plate.
I think over time I began to understand a little what true friendship really is and why Abraham was called the friend of God.
2. Christian friends encourage one another
Prov. 27:9 “The sweetness of a friend comes from his early counsel”
It is evident that as a friend you are a by-product of who counsels you.
That’s why true friendship provides a platform to receive counsel and encouragement.
There is nothing more blessed than having a friend you can trust to counsel as God will.
Be it as it may, God designed friendship to solve a problem in His Body, you are not alone!
Lastly, be that Christian friend God can count on to bring accurate counsel and encouragement to those in need of it.
3. Christian friends forgive one another
First and foremost, there is no friendship without forgiveness.
In fact that’s where the true test of friendship comes in, you forgive not because you were not wronged.
But because that’s what God expects, that’s what friendship demands and it helps you live with a conscience devoid of offense.
The scripture speaking in Col. 3: 12-14 says “and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive”
For instance, if someone wronged you whether intentional or not, in addition to other things,
For your own sake create room to forgive or atleast give people the benefit of the doubt.
Because, when you harbor resentment, hatred or unforgiveness you unwittingly give satan access to afflict you.
Hence, wisdom demands you close that access so satan can lose legal grounds over you.
Friend or not, for a Christian, forgiveness is not optional.
It’s central to the gospel. Jesus told his disciples, “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:15)“
Finally, in your friendship always make room to forgive, it might be difficult but that is what is demanded of you.
And if you want to be effective and productive in your work with God, you can’t decide for God the instructions to listen to.
Principles of Friendship
Ironically, friendship is mostly responsible for the seamless operation and pleasurable experience of relationships.
Since you love some of the same hobbies, true friendships put you around people you choose to associate with.
or just because you like them for who they are and what they have to offer in your life as God’s creation.
Choose your friends wisely
Choosing friends wisely is really important for some reasons;
A. Friends influence you
Proverbs 22:24-25 “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare”
Do not be deceived: “ Evil communication corrupts good manners.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
Friends have a defining influence on our personalities and character.
We tend to spend more time with our friends while we are younger, so this is especially true.
But you will be influenced to be like them, especially those who try to be more like Christ.
Consequently, friends influence who you become.
B. Bad Friends Can Lead You to Harm
Proverbs 13:20 “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm”
Indeed, the scripture didn’t say that when you walk with the foolish you will become foolish.
Rather, it says the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Bad friendship will make you gravitate towards things unbecoming of a believer and vices which removes the power of your witness.
Finally, in friendship the character of your friends matters a great deal.
Beware of false friends
The scripture warns against false prophets and teachers in the last days.
In the same way, you must beware of false friends because that isn’t really what the Bible has in mind about true friendship.
On the contrary, the Bible describes true friendship as constant. Proverbs 17:17 tells us that “a friend loves at all times.”
Furthermore, you cannot do away with falsehood, as long as there is original there is fake as well.
All things being equal, a true friend will have true friends,
Whatever it is you desire in someone else, become it first, you need to do more of becoming than talking.
Loyalty in friendship also consist of being trustworthy
Proverbs 11:13 “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered”
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28
From the above scriptures it is evident that in friendship you must learn how to bridle your mouth.
In fact, sometimes your loyalty in friendship is tested by the things you know about your friend you are willing to protect at all cost.
Gossip always kills friendships, it is a non – negotiable fact.
Also, as a believer you can have the tendency to overshare other’s secrets under the guise of seeking counsel.
Of course it is good to seek counsel but not everyone is mature enough to have discretion about what to share.
Consequently, something you lacked wisdom or discernment on how to handle escalated.
In friendship as a believer, God is counting on you to have your brothers back at all cost.
In situations where it needs to be reported, the HolyGhost has to still give you wisdom on how to go about it.
Conclusion
Above all, friendship is ultimately founded within the Godhead—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Because the foundation and basis of your friendship must be traced back to God.
He is the universal set of the sub-set of true friendship.
Finally, you have to understand as a believer that in true friendship is sacrifice, loyalty,
Godly counsel, encouragement and forgiveness. May God help us to become true friends in Jesus’ name.
You can check the article How believers should respond to gossip
3 Comments
“All things being equal, a true friend will have true friends”.
Thanks ma
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